a job for me

So before I tell you this job, I need to really thank Ponderosa and all who were involved the past few summers I worked there. I firmly believe had I not worked at Pondi I wouldn't have found this job and I don't know of another job more perfect for me. So let me tell you what the job is and really I can all hear you fully agreeing with my decision.
I was on the phone with my friend and he was telling me about this church he's involved in. He told me all about the pastor, the huge choir, and the flag people (people that twirl a flag I assume). Anyways and then he said that at his church ... ready for this... there are interpetive dancers!!! IMAGINE THAT! People hired to dance interpeting a song at church!! HELLO?! How perfect is that for me? Can you just imagine me on stage dancing dramatically to a song infront of hundreds of people? I know! It's my spiritual gift and I finally found a place that needs it. Paul forgot to mention that interpetive dancing is a gift but... let's all be honest with each other we know if it wasn't God wouldn't have blessed me with it! :) So I believe that's my calling... interpetive dancing... most of you saw my moves at camp, you can't deny that I've got some talent there!
Anyways.. just thought I'd throw that at you guys... what do you think?

God stuff

So for the past couple of weeks things have been going really well with God and I, He has been teaching me so much and I'm loving it. There's been a ton of spiritual warfare, but that's to be expected for any growing believer. So for lent I gave up being so dependent on friends and more dependent on God, it's been going amazingly well... but I went to the extreme. I would feel guilty about talking to my friends about anything. So I stopped talking to them, one of my best friends called me and knew something was going on but I couldn't explain it to him. I began to feel so overwhelmed with thoughts... like where is the balance between God and friends? Finally... tuesday night I had a breakdown. I called my friend around midnight and just started crying. I was trying to explain myself but I was crying to hard and he was like ya... I have no idea what your saying. Finally after a few minutes he understood and was able to explain it too me (he said bc he doesn't have emotions things come much clearer... is that true guys?) Anyways my whole deal was that I was afraid that by telling my friends my struggle that I was being unfaithful to God, and that I was going to fall back into my dependency phase again and that scared me. I also told him how I re-read my old journal from this summer till now and realized what a burden I was to people. Mmm good one satan, filling my head with lies.
ANYWAYS the point is that God has put amazing people in my life... AMAZING. And these people that I trust love me for who I am. Today at church my youth pastor said that again that even Paul called to Timothy (after talking to God) for some help and comfort.
THIS is just a little shout out to all of you that read my blog... you have all had some influence on me and I really appreciate it. You in some way have shaped the person that I am today, and I am so blessed to have you in my life. I really am. Even if we don't really talk that much and just read each others blogs know that I am thankful for you and I love you all and thank God that you are in my life.
Wow... I'm really nice ;)

Oh the weekend

This weekend I went up with Stacey to Silver Spur, we were the "groupies" for the winter band which was Jeff, Chuckles, John, and Jarrod. We had a lot of solitude time, which was sometimes frustrating because Stacey and I both went up there hoping to hang out with some kids, but they already had their councelors and everything. BUT God still worked in each of us a lot this weekend. Here's some highlights for you kids :)
* I was laughing and this lady told me she loved my laugh... Stacey told me she was deaf... DANG it!
* We got woken up early by the band... Jarrod singing Chang Chang Chang, John playing the guiatrre, and Chuckles quoting scripture at us
*Stacey and I checked out Antique shops together for a couple hours and that was fun.
*We put bed pans on Chuckles and Jarrods bed filled w ith water and turned their heater up to 90 in each room. (Jarrod drank out of his bed pan... ugh)
* The speaker (Eric Simpson) did a great job, and the worship was really quality.
*God taught me a lot this weekend
*I almost hit a deer driving stacey's car at 6:30 in the morning... stupid deer
BUT THE GREATEST HIGHLIGHT EVER WAS
*I was trying to have my quiet time and Chuckles runs in half naked, jumps on the bed and starts dancing crazily. It made me laugh so hard.
It was a good weekend, I had fun with Stacey and the boys, and I had some really good theology discussions. It was so good to be in a camp setting again.

Love month... whatever

I do love people but it's been a really hard few weeks b/c everywhere I turn there's another couple. This isn't to say that I am not happy for the couples in my life I'm just saying it gets hard at times. This week was really hard b/c I felt really distant from people and I kept thinking "I just need a friend right now". BUT this is God's way of teaching me to find my comfort in Him and not other people.
So let me tell you all about last night. I am reading through 1st samuel right now and if you haven't read it... holy nights its crazy!!! Saul scares the snot out of me. Anyways my roommate and I were having a theological discussion till almost 1:00am and then we decide to call it a night. I get ready for bed and turn off my light, but I keep the shades open so that some light comes in the room.As I'm walking to my bed I look out the window and see something in the window across from me. I dive into my bed, hitting my knee on the wall, and peer over the window seal. For sure there's something in their window. And I have seen the people who live there looking into my room, just staring. So I crawl army style out of my room, b/c I didn't want anyone to see me. I go into my roommates room freaking out and make them come look. They saw it too and they were like Heather... no more scary movies for you. Eventually they left and I crawled into bed, and I kept looking to see if it was still there.
I woke up at 6:45 this morning and looked at the window... and friends don't worry it was just a vase with a huge fake flower in it. But it did look like a person honest!! I have a huge bruise on my knee from the wall, but I could definitly make it in the marines, I'm sneaky :)
Kyle I'll call you if there's anymore updates on monday or wednesday ;) you know what that means you stud!! :)

What to do?

So apparantly I have to figure out where I am going to live next year by next friday. I have no idea what I'm doing this summer let alone where I plan on living next year. I was considering moving to Sacramento for next year with one of my roommates, but now it looks like a no go. Which means I'll probably stay here in Sunny Davis (or Berkley if you want to call it that Kyle). Which is fine, the only part I struggle with is living with so many girls again and not really having too much privacy. I do love my roommates, but let's be realistic... 6 girls living together in a small apartment... HELLO MOOD SWINGS! :) I love it! Anyways any suggestions for what I should do next year? Or this summer? (Besides singing back up for Mr. J and trademark... I'll probably be pretty busy).
So I told a secret to Kyle that I will confess to you all now. Sometimes when I get stressed with school or roommates or life, I put in the Mr. J C.D. and do the motions and sing along... by myself. I need a friend.