OCP!!!

a lesson in self forgivness

2007-05-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since I've blogged but things have been crazy...good... hard but crazy!! I went to Mexico with the youth group and it was so awesome! I love my youth group friends. They are just amazing.... but that's not what this blog is about.

I've been doing some thinking about my past few years, and some of the dumb stuff that I have done.... well... there's been a lot to chose from to be honest. I recently emailed 2 of my former best friends (does that make me sound so jr. high?!) and apologized to them for all the drama I had caused them. I had put them through pretty much hell, and an exhausting, frustrating, emotional roller coaster. I had been meaning to send this email to them but kept putting it off. I thought after i sent it I would feel lighter, like a burden that had been removed, but I didn't. I felt the same, a little worse because I kept relieving the awful times. I kept wondering why I didn't feel.... redeemed I guess. The more I thought about it I realized, I don't need their forgiveness, I'm pretty sure they already forgave me, what I need is God's forgivness, and then my own forgiveness. The concept of forgiving myself seems a little weird, but a few years a go when I was living at Joshua and I had been tramatized a friend asked me "You've forgiven this person, but have you forgiven yourself?" I don't forgive myself, I punish myself for too long, and too harshly. Why do we have such a hard time accepting God's (who is perfect and merciful) forgiveness, but we can't accept our own? Or I can accept a perfect stranger who hurt me to be forgiven, but when I mess up I constantly remind myself of my errors. If Grace is free, why do I, why do we, reject it? I don't know. After being a christian for over 13 years I still can't come close to grasping Redemption, Mercy, and Grace. Will I ever?

cults ARE crazy

2007-02-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

So last week I was driving up to my church when I noticed a man standing at one of the entrances with a walkie talkie. I immediatly thought... ooohhhh... I wonder what game he's playing?! Then as I drove a little bit further up the rode to the next entrance I saw another man with a walkie talkie standing next to my father. Then I thought... ooohh i bet its a fun scavenger hunt! (no joke those are my thoughts). As I am turning into the church I realize there are a ton of picketers lining the streets. They have signs saying "HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN" and then "YOU'RE PASTOR IS A HYPOCRITE". I was like this is NOT a fun scavenger hunt. These people found out that a women in our congregation agrees with gay marriages... so they thought that our church was this awful church that was preaching on sin. They told my pastor "How dare you allow sinners into your church". It was insane. They were yelling at people, telling us we were all going to hell. It was quite the scandal in our quaint little town. Anyways I want you guys to check out this site and see how crazy... seriously crazy... cults can be!! It was NUTS!!

http://www.churchofthedivide.org/ and then click on the picket of FBC and then watch the video. How do they justify their actions? They are condeming people and doing it in such a hateful way. Where is love and mercy, grace and forgiveness?! Again... crazy cults!!! :)

C.S. Lewis was a good good man

2007-01-14T00:45:00.000-08:00

So I'm reading "A Grief Observed" right now and I feel (besides the chronicles of Narnia) this is the first Lewis book that I fully comprehend. Something he wrote just totally hit home for me
"But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away..." Lately I have felt like God was just hiding from me, I feel like I keep crying out to him and saying look how broken i am, and it's like I'm speaking to the still air. What comforts me? Knowing that other Christians, such as Lewis, have struggled, and have been in their valley and have felt abandoned by God. I know that He hasn't left me, i grew up in the church all my life, I know the Christian answers. I realized recently that my whole life I have made God just a man, and like so many men in my life I keep waiting for him to fail me. And his silence for the past two years has been a failure in my eyes. How do you make God... God? How do you make him perfect when you are surrounded by tragedy? How do you make him Mercy when you see victims all around you?
I know this isn't the typical blog that I would write.... but i felt i needed to write this all down. Don't worry I haven't lost my faith, but i feel like i'm standing at the double bolted door surrounded by silence.

myspace distracted me

2006-09-20T21:26:00.000-07:00

So...... I'm back...... Kyle Smith threatned me and I had to respond to him.... he's intimidating!! Ever since I got myspace it was hard to keep up with blogging. So things are good. I moved into my new place which was fun since I was on crutches. I like my new place though, I have my own room for the first time since I moved out of my parents many moons a go. I have a cat named LaLa... she's preciouse. I have my Mel Gibson posters... and a picture of Kyle Smith playing with playdoh that says I love you. He's got a thing for me.

My sister is getting married in a few months so that's exciting. The dress that I'm wearing makes me look like a 1800's harlot... but at least I don't look like a marshmellow. But I think it doesn't matter how i look, it is all about my sister, and plus... it's family, I can't be really trying to impress my cousins... we like our family tree to branch out... at least sometimes!!!

So Braveheart is coming to theaters in october!! How awesome is that?! Well I'll write more fun things... and I will be more committed to my blogging family!! :)

How random!

2006-05-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

So let me tell you all a little story that happened last saturday morning at 5:00am. (This story is based on actual events). I was asleep as most human beings are at 5:00AM on a saturday. I had been sick all week and was enjoying a full nights sleep of nyquil induced medication. Having probably a fabulous dream I start hearing "Heather.... Heather...... HEATHER!!!!" I look up and there are both of my roommates standing over me. In a not so sweet voice I said "WHAT?!" and my roommate replies "A tree limb hit your truck and there are 5 cops outside we need to go talk to them!" After she repeated it a few times I got up, threw a sweatshirt on and went outside. Let me tell you I'm wearing my Mexico sweatshirt that has a Cross on it and corona boxer shorts. Anyways there were about 6 cops... because I live in davis and we never can do things with just 1 officer, hanging out by my truck. This tree branch was HUGE. It dented my truck in 3 places and scratched it up. The cops had to drag it down the street with their vehicle. It was pretty exciting.
OKAY... my next story happened just the other day. I walk into my apartment and there are like 5 spiders greeting me. I HATE spiders. So I immediatly call my apt. office and tell my manager that there was "aracnaphobia part 2 in my apt." he said "I've only seen the first one." then i said i feel like if i turn on the water spiders will fall out. He said REALLY?! i was like and we're done making jokes wiht you friend. He told me that spiders can hold their breathe for a really long time and they have such long legs they step OVER the poison. uh-huh.... Davis is a fun place to live i'm telling you :)
I get to hang out with Stacey ALL weekend!!! She's even making me miss church!!!! dondondon!!!!!

Ya I flashed them!

2006-04-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

So I need to share this story with you because I feel like you will be able to laugh at me. The other day I was at church and was so excited because I bought new clothes. And just so you know its always super windy at church. ANYWAYS one of my girls has crutches so she asked me if I could carry her hot chocolate for her. So I am juggling HOT HOT HOT chocolate, my coffee, my bible and my keys. All of the sudden this gust of wind comes out of nowhere. It flips my skirt up causing me to flash all of the people standing infront of big peoples church. I grab my skirt down and some how dump the hot chocolate down my shirt burning my chest. So I'm standing there in the rain with hot chocolate burning down me just in shock. Too mortified to even look at the people standing infront of the church. My jr. high girl was just laughing hysterically... so I just walked away. That's the last time I do something nice for anyone.

So I'm going to Mexico on saturday. Tijuana. I'm excited but kind of nervous because I might be driving down there and I'm just nervous about crossing the border. I don't think it's hit me that I'm the adult now. These kids expect me to have the answers and do everything right. SO weird!! I'm also in the midst of finidng a place to live next year which is sometimes a little over whelming! oh well!!

Oprah and I are tight

2006-02-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

So on valentines day my friend got me a 1 year subscription to the Oprah Magazine.. aka a one year subscription to free therapy! I am so excited! Oprah is amazing... and she sent me a picture of herself with a quote... one day I'm going to be just like her!!
So things here are going well, my jr. high girls are keeping me busy but I love it. We went to this place called "Pump it up" with all the jr. highers. Its this inflatable place that has a basketball inflatabe thing... course inflatable ordeal, boxing, slide, just lots of FUN stuff! So one of the guy leaders recently sprained his ankels and is there for on crutches. I asked him if I could borrow them because I feel like crutches are just so fun sometimes! First off let me say that they were meant for a guy that is 6'4.... i'm 5'3. I am trying to run around with them and then I try to lift myself off the ground and flip forward. I didn't quite make it, my body twitched the crutches flew out from under me and I landed on my face. I quickly got up, slightly embarassed, thinking no one saw me... no one that is except for all my girls and half of our staff. I'm an idiot. I'm the biggest clutz ever!
I started laughing in my sleep again at night, and having conversations. I guess my roommate is getting a little creeped out by me laughing. She said it's kind of an evil laugh, and she goes to sleep in the living room. What are ya gonna do ;) :)

jr. highers

2006-02-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

So last weekend was our jr. high retreat... and let me tell you when I have kids they are being sent to bording school at age 13-20. It was such a hard weekend, but let me tell you a few highlights. We went up to the snow which was fun. My youth pastor was going down a hill with his intertube and there was a few of us on this snow mound watching. He's coming down fast and all of the sudden we realize he's going to hit us. By the time we stood up this guy behind me PUSHES me infront of my youth pastor, he hits me I fly and slide on the snow/ice. I got pretty scraped up. Then my girls think it would be funny to throw snowballs in my face while they are maybe a foot away from me... it wasn't as funny as they might have thought let me tell you. I told them that I felt as though they had ripped the skin off of my face and all you saw was blood and veins... one of my preciouse girls said "Well that would be better than what we normally see". Let me tell you at that point I had been knocked over by my youth pastor, had all 13 of my girls tackel me and hit me in the snow (at the same time) even after I screamed " I have bad ovaries!!!!" So I looked at the girl who made the comment and said "Thats it". I dropped my backpack and just said bring it on. Keep in mind I'm totally challenging a 13 year old girl... but in all fairness she was taller than me. I took her down in less than 5 seconds with all the adrenaline that had been building over the weeekend. I guess I was sitting on her just hitting her... and not with snow. Apparenly I can only be pushed so far.
I was one of the drivers on the retreat and whenever we were driving I always had music on and I would always sing along... and my girls would say "Heather... we don't actually like it when you sing". Really... teenagers are the apple of my eye. I'm trying to recover from that weekend but so far things are getting busier before getting better.
Oh and feel free to throw out the "I have bad ovaries" card... because kids get so freaked out about it they immediatly back off. Its amazing :)

2006-01-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas time with my second family. We are this happy 24/7. And I have a UCD sweatshirt on so that people will think I'm super smart. I'll have more pics to post later. I had a fabulous New years with my youth group!!! And I have joined the myspace world. Theres just fun and excitement all around.

The best thanksgiving.

2005-11-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

So this thanksgiving went so smoothly! I need to share it with you because I feel that some of you will fully embrace it. My former roommate joined me, and she is a Missionary Kid, pretty quiet, maybe a little akward. So I take her, and my two cousins (the oldest is 16, and the youngest is 13) to this park after dinner and my cousin has his hacky sack on him. He starts playing target practice with me and it was so painful, so I told him to throw it at my friend, and he totally does. Poor thing she doesn't say anything. Then we go on a merry-go-round and I'm about to vomitt, my roommate is falling off, but my cousin won't let us off. My roommate falls off, and just rolls. It was so funny. Then we go to my parents house and some other people came over and joined us. One of the kids that joined us is mildly autistic, but just this sweet cute kid. I had a dvd with me and he kept trying to take it, it was just a fun game.
He had a sweat guard that he placed on the counter, I slid it over to my roommate who was sitting right across from me. When he saw that he went over and just started beating my roomate right in the face. I started screaming laughing!! He did it 8-9 times! Just hitting her, and she's too gentle to say anything or do anything, and my mom and I are just crying.
Then they were about to leave and he wanted the dvd and I said my dog had it, so he went up to my friend and just hit her in the face and walked away.
When we got in my truck to go home she said "thanks for inviting me heather". I was like "Welcome to the Nunn family!" Visualizing it over and over makes me laugh, even in my sleep I woke up laughing!! It was just what I needed :)
Now its time to decorate for Christmas!!!

You're a FREAK

2005-11-20T16:51:00.000-08:00

So saturday our youth group had a progressive dinner, which is where you go to different homes and have different parts of a meal. Its great fun. I was in charge of making horchatas, and mexican hot chocolate. While making the hot chocolate you have to mix this block of chocolate with 4 cups of hot milk. I did that 5 times, 4 out of the 5 times the blender exploded ALL over me, all over my kitchen, just everywhere. I was so annoyed. That night when everything was over I get home to find a mustache on my Mel Gibson poster, a coconut bra on my stitch and other things out of place.
Plus this was my favorite part, when I was in highschool I had VERY blonde hair, and I had thick bangs and above the shoulder hair (okay okay i had a female mullett), one of my girls finds a picture and screams "HEATHER YOU'RE A FREAK!" threw the pic at me and ran out the door. That made me feel secure.
I saw "Mr. Toad" today, and that was lots of fun. He is precious and just so great!! (Shan you know who i'm talking about!!) :) Happy thanksgiving friends. I'm going to listen to Bing Crosby music now :)

New Bed

2005-11-15T16:31:00.000-08:00

I just want to let you all know about what I had to endure while moving bed frames. So I got a new bed frame and I was super excited about it. My roommate said that she would help after she went for a run so I should wait for her to get back. Well.... if I have my mind sent on something I'm going to do it right then and there. So I am moving this huge frame in my SMALL apartment. For over an hour I am talking to myself out loud, trying to strategize and figure how to get it into my room. At one point I get completly wedged between a wall and my frame. I can't move the bed, I can't move my legs. I didn't have my phone on me.... so I had to stand there for almost a half hour just pinned against the wall. Finally my roommate came home and I said "Oh thank God you're home! I'm stuck" and she looks at me and says "Oh okay" and turns around and walks out the door for another 10 minutes. It was fabulous.
But we got the bed in, and I can fit so much stuff under my bed. It's awesome. Except because the frame is so massive I have to get a step stool to get into bed because I am too short to climb in on my own. Its pathetic.
I got a new phone for my room, don't worry its a princess phone, and when someone calls it plays disney princess music, and lights up. AND its pink and in a shape of a heart. So I want you to all call my apt. line so that I can hear it. :)

Christmas music

2005-11-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

So I am hoping that maybe someone can relate to me because I am already embracing Christmas music. I love this time of the year, where it gets cold outside, and rainy, and Christmasy :) I love it. So I feel that I have been so busy lately. Youth group has been crazy and I totally love it. We just had a leaders retreat this past weekend and it was so fun. I saw an Amish man!!! But only come to find out he wasn't amish at all, just a homley looking guy with a beard. I saw him smoking Cigarettes after his ride in the horse and bugy. I was a little upset.
So I went to Scandia (which for those of you who don't know is minature golf with an arcade and go cart race track) with my youth group. Okay so I was in the arcade (after kicking my jr. high girls butts at minature golf) and I was playing some shooting game. Okay first off let me just state that there's like a 8 year old child doing this game with me. Anyways the game you are trying to hit these specific targets and it makes a noise if you do. I hit this one target... a CLOWN races towards you and screams. I threw my gun down, slapped the kid while trying to cover my mouth after screaming. The kid ran off crying. That was sad. But in my defense they shouldn't have clowns in the arcade!! I hate cheap tricks!!!
Anyways all else is going fabulously. I'm loving my bible study girls, I love my youth pastor and his wife, and the entire youth staff. I just feel that this is definitly where God wants me right now. :) :) :)

"23?! You ARE old"

2005-10-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Thats the comment I recieved from my friend on my birthday. It's fine... I'm 23, single, no idea what God has planned for me. :) But I had a fun birthday. I hung out with my sister, and a Joshua friend, and my mom. And then some of my friends came over around midnight and we all had fun. But I got a digital camera and a printer! I'm so excited about it! And the Kelly Clarkson C.D.... I'm not ashamed to say that I LOVE it!
So can I tell you that I am realizing how much God has been molding me and it's amazing. Even with little things. I'm learning to stand up for myself which might seem minor to some of you, but to me its HUGE. I am learning to not believe everything a friend tells me. When my character is being attacked (which I'll be honest has been happening a lot lately), I am learning that I am confidant with who I am in Christ. So it's been an amazing, and incredibally hard journey.
My 8th grade girls are so fun. I just love them, they exhaust me, and after bible studies I feel hung over with exhaustion. We call it a "dry hang over" because no alcohol is being consumed. They just have SO much energy and so much to say its amazing!
Anyways I'm excited with what God is doing right now as hard as its been. Its just amazing how He works!

He made me cry

2005-09-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

So let me throw this disclaimer out right now, I'm not the best parker... I know this... my friends know this... there's no secret to it. Okay, so I'm at safeway buying some food for our leaders dinner. I walk out and this guy is blocking my truck in, and writing a note. So I'm thinking, oh crap, he totally hit my truck. I'm looking at it, it was parked in the lines it's just not perfectly straight. I walk over and say "Hi" to the man... he looks at me and asks "Is this YOUR truck?!" And I smile and say "yes it is". He opens his door and says nice parking *itch. And drives off. I stood there for a second, and then just start crying. I haven't cried in months, at least 8 months right, and there's been a lot of tough stuff happening. But this man says one sentance to me and it just does it for me. But I only allow myself to cry for one minute, then I suck it up because I have to go to a meeting. Some people are just NOT nice!
I officially started working with the 8th grade girls, all 18 of them. Yappers Crappers! They are all so energetic... SOOOO energetic. and boy crazy. And I hear all my old youth leaders sighing their "this is sweet justic" sigh. Come to find out I was just like these girls in jr. high. We had the super hero night and we were the Galaxy Galloping Girls for God. And we had these coconuts to make the galloping noise. Some jr. high boy comes up to me and says "hey... nice cocunuts" and kind of laughed. and I asked him what that meant. Then he got embarrassed and walked away. What does it mean?!

Deeper Still

2005-09-21T11:05:00.000-07:00

So it's been a hard week, actually its been a hard couple of weeks. I haven't been able to feel rested, and I thought it was because I'm getting old.. you know almost 23 is like over the hill! I've had to take naps in the middle of the day in order to get THROUGH the day! It's ridiculous, but I realize that a lot of it is because I am so emotionally exhausted. This week so many things have come up. I've taken a few steps back with my friends, and had some harsh realitys be slapped in my face. I have always known that God designed me to be a relational girl, where I will do anything for my friends if possible. But I realized these past few weeks, actually even these past few months, that my friends wouldn't really do the same for me. I think what hurts the most is to know that some of them flat out just don't care. But what's been good about all of this is that it has brought me to a point where I fully rely on God right now, and daily have to ask for Him to carry me. So I guess losing some friends is the price I have to pay in order for God to get my full attention.
So I have a youth event coming up and we have to dress up as super hero's. And we can make them up... I think we should be Super Nun's. We have to go through a corn maze and I'm pretty sure the texas chainsaw guy will try to kill me. (Not if I'm a Super Nun though!) give me some ideas for super hero's... I know you guys have some fun ideas!!

Scream my lungs out and try to get to you

2005-09-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

Can I just vent really quickly a frustration I have?! What the heck is up with guys and being leaders? Why don't guys step out anymore and take the initative? I just started working with my youth group (8th grade girls... I am your new role model!!) and my youth pastor said that we now have plenty of girls working with the youth group but we are short on guys. I feel like this is such a commen trend. I don't understand why our society is trying to femenize guys so much and why we don't allow them to go with their instincts to want to be hero's and go to battel and all that. Anyways it just frustrates me.
I saw this amazing movie called "Crash". Oh mi gosh! Its AMAZING! My friend and I were screaming at the t.v. and crying. I HIGHLY recomend this movie.
My friends house caught on fire this weekend and it destroyed everything. Fortunatly his whole family was out, but his dogs were inside and died in the fire. It rocked us pretty intensly, but he's remaining such a rock... I feel that he is still in shock.
Hey those of you that have worked with jr. highers I would love to hear some pointers. I worry that they won't like me or won't think I'm fun. If you have any advice.. I would treasure it... just like I would treasure you!

Ripped pants

2005-08-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

Today I was at work and it was a really hard day... very trying and exhausting! But I was almost done and I went to get something and my pants ripped from my knee all the way up. I was like... "And I'm spent", but it made me laugh.
So I've moved into my new place and can I just say its my favorite place ever! I really love it. We have a balcany that we drink our coffee and tea on, managment is so great, we were able to paint one wall, which we had match our couch and chair. We're even getting drapes to match our couch and everything. It's a grown up apartment now. But its been a very stressfull process. I had to give away my kitties on Monday morning :( I was/am so sad. The deposit for a pet here is $500 per cat... up front! WHO HAS THAT MONEY?! I hate moving, I hate it! But it's almost over, and the place is really coming a long well. Come and visit me anytime!
I'm reading Captivating, such an amazing book! Every girl should read it, then every guy should so that they can understand us better.
Oh and I colored my hair black. I understand why people have mid-life crisis now. I needed a changed so I colored my hair, other people need a change and get a new car. You know.. to each his own. Anyways be praying I find a secure job. I'm going to watch Family Guy now... because its freakin hillarious!

Uncle Jesse

2005-08-15T15:11:00.000-07:00

So we all know Uncle Jesse from full house right? Okay... so I've always had a thing for him, I think he's beautiful. Anyways I had a dream the other night that I was a member of the Full house cast... theres my secret dream for you guys. Anyways Uncle Jesse and I were attending these funerals and I was really upset about it all. So he gave me a hug and started singing El Shadai. I started to cry because it was so beautiful. So there you have it :)
I really just wanted to share that with you all. I move on friday... which is a good thing because it's only 100 degrees outside. Perfect moving weather. I got a job YAAAA!! That was an answer to prayer... now if we could just work on the boyfriend factor... ;) jk... no i'm not.
Anyways I'll write more after i move, things are just a bit stressful right now and a bit of drama is going around. I LOVE it ;)

What the Mel?!

2005-07-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

So I haven't really been in my apartment for about a month because of traveling and house sitting. So yesterday (being Monday) I'm back at my apt. and I'm the only one home. SO RARE! Anyways I'm on the phone and I walk in my room and stop breathing and then... started screaming. My 6 ft poster of Mel Gibson was gone... GONE!!! Aaron I feel that you can understand what a huge deal this is for me. So I call my friend and ask him if he took it and he just laughed. This isn't funny. There's no laughter, it's like an abduction and there's NOTHING funny about that. So I got the key to his apt and got my poster back, and took his matress. I re-made his bed to look like there was still a matress there. So now war is one, I still have his matress because he still has my Mel. This world is EVIL!
So I have been having family time the past few days, and tomorrow we are heading to Spirit West Coast, I've never gone but it should be fun. I'm pretty tired, and now I get to start not only packing for this week, but start packing up the apt. because I move aug. 20. So soon!! Pondi friends have fun with Mr. J... but remember Kyle and I will always be Mr. J's fly girls!!!:)

Emotionally spent

2005-07-22T01:06:00.000-07:00

So ever since my visit to so cal I have just been feeling emotionally drained. I haven't cried anymore because I gave that up a go awhile ago. But I'm just spent. I feel like the past few months have been very hard for me and my friends. I get it that no one is perfect and that people will fail me and I will fail them. It just sucks that it seems to be happening back to back lately.
God's timing (as usual) doesn't make sense to me and I am trying to wait on Him but it gets so frustrating. There are days I want to just throw up my arms and say I quit, but it's not my time to do so.
But I have been embracing my time house sitting, besides it being over 106 degrees outside! SICK! But I have been swimming, job hunting, swimming, hanging out with friends.
OH!! How great is my grandma? I was helping her clean house and she was like "Heather sit down I want to describe this drinking game I used to do". Oh Grandma!! Kyle don't forget grandma!
Sorry this blog is a little sad, I'm just being honest about my state right now :) I did see Willie Wonka and it made me laugh so hard... and loudly!!!

What a week

2005-07-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

So... I'm pretty exhausted to be honest. I feel like last week was such a long week. Like on the beginning of the show 24 and Jack Bowers says "This is the longest day of my life". Only it was a week. Anyways, I went to Pondi for a day, it was fun seeing everyone. I think it was too much for me to take in all at once but it was good to see all the beautiful faces at camp. Then I went to my sisters and her and her boyfriend and I went to the fair on saturday. So my sister and I go on this insane ride and I was screaming the whole time and this girl next to me was like "Are you really scared? Why are you screaming?" I was like um... if you could just wait a minute I'm really concentrating on dying here so give me some time. But it was fun. Then on monday I went to Palomar which is in Sandiego to visit this camp up there.
OKAY... so again... people I never look at myself and think I'm short. I just think everyone else is really tall. Okay at this camp there were only 6 grade campers. Most of them taller than me. This one girl asked me what school I was from and I was like oh... no I'm not a camper I'm just here checkign things out. And she was like I figured because you were short you were a camper. I was like huh... awesome.
Anyways, sorry pondi folks for bailing so quickly, some of you heard why I left. It really was good to see you guys though... kyle thanks for rubbing your booger on my leg... that makes me want to vomitt again :)

Aye aye aye

2005-06-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

So on monday my roommate and I adopted two little kitties. My kitties name is Olivia, and my roommates kitties name is Frijole. Yes that is what dad calls alyssa :) They are so cute though!! Even if they do wake me up at 6:00am biting my legs, I still smile. No it's true folks I smile at 6:00 in the morning... only at kittens though... not people.
Today my roommate and I were summond to jury duty, which was kind of fun because we were able to go together and hang out. But the man that was on trial was a step father of a boy I went to highschool with. He was being charged with all these molsetation charges on minors. The judge went on for a few minutes just listing all his charges. The man faced us and smiled a simple smile. I was so upset by it all. Fortuantly I got out of it because 1. i can't afford to not be working, 2. I knew the guy on trial.
So ya that took place, I miss my pondi pines friends. Kyle make me laugh, tell me a joke so that I can laugh for just a fewminutes. It's been a kind of lonely and stressful and emotional summer already and I am definitly excited to visit Pondi people.
Kyle you will make those OCP bracelts again this year!!! :) And keep stacey in line, smack her around if she starts thinking she's funnier than me :) (all of you have permission to do that) jk stace!!

Family Reunion

2005-06-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

So I had a family reunion this weekend, I'm exhausted!! My family is so funny and entertaining to me. I love them all. My uncle just retired from working in a prison, where he had to deal with Charles Manson, mafia guys, and the Texas Chainsaw guy (I was almost crying when he told me that because that movie has haunted me for a long time now). He had some great stories that I will tell you all later on. Let me just share a clumsy moment by Heather Nunn.
I was at In N Out and I went to refil my drink before we left. Okay... they didn't have a sign that said "wet floors" so I totally slip... grab this lady's leg to stop me from falling. Then I straighten up and say "thank you" and walk away. I was so embarassed and she looked horrified that I grabbed her behind her knee.
So a lot of stuff has been happening the past few weeks, a lot of hard stuff but it's all a learning process. Pondi Pines peeps I'm going to be visiting you July 8 maybe, sometime around there. So be ready for me. BFFA I'm bringing up a nursing outfit for you!!! ;) Stacey I'll see ya in a few days. I for sure miss you pondi people and you guys are in my prayers. But I think I miss you more thanI pray for you. I'm just being honest. :)

oh Crap!!!

2005-05-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

So must of you know that I'm a nanny and so I am with children a good majority of my day. Which I love... but let me just share the reasons why I'm NOT looking forward to having kids.
Last week, I was babysitting from 8-5 for a 8 month old and a 4 year old. I went to change the baby's diaper and as I do that she EXPLODED out of her diaper so theres crap literally on my hand. I was like AWESOME! So I pick her up to clean her off.. not noticing she's pooping on the floor.. I step in the poop and smear it in the carpet. I get her all cleaned up and put her down to play. As I am on my hands and knees cleaning this poop I stick my hand in a pile that she left on the floor for me. I gagging while cleaning it up.
Okay... a little more recent ordeal. Last night I babysat for 3 kids, ages from 4 years old to 11 years old. 2 boys (both with some mental imbalancment). Okay.. the toilit over flows... and the kids are going nuts. I was like okay, it's alright we just need a few towels everything is fine. There was poop floating around. I was like Lord are You laughing right now? So I clean it up but there was no plunger so I shut the door and tell each kid to not use the bathroom. While I wasn't looking the oldest goes in and pees in the overly full toilit. So I had to clean it up again. This is all after the parents say to me "We unlocked the back door because sometimes the kids like to lock the babysitters outside."
I love babies, I love children, and i am actually babysitting for a full weekend while the parents go to vegas BUT they are so DISGUSTING!!!

I'm an airhead

2005-05-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

So the past couple of days (yes it is a recent development) I have done some brainless stuff. SO I figured I would share them with my friends here that would be so forgiving, or at least just laugh at me. So I was at my friend Megan's house all weekend and on sunday we went to Church. It was communion at the church and the pastor went through the drill of how to do it (it was a new church for me). So I go up take off a piece of bread and grab one of those small cups of juice. First off I spill some of the juice on the floor... awesome not my church and Im spilling. Then I sit and just do a little reflection. The pastor comes up and says the part of scripture take this cup and drink. I looked at megan after I drank the juice and said I forgot to eat the bread!! I did it wrong!!! Yikes.
Then Megan and I are driving and she's on the phone and I begin to think of my age and when I was born. So I was born in 1982 and then I think, okay in 1992 I was 10, and in 2002 I was 20. Now I'm 22... but it's 2005. I should be 25! I fully convinced myself for 5 seconds that I wasn't the right age andthat I had been lied to my whole life. But then I did the math and nope I'm still 22... makes sense now.
Then I texted kyle smith and said Happy Cinco De Mayo! He wrote back and informed me that infact today was the 2 of may....
Whats wrong with me?! :)

Ode to Alyssa

2005-04-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

Alyssa has been doing nothing but complain to me that I have never written a blog about her, so this for you Alyssa.
Alyssa and I became friends when we lived at Hume Lake and we bonded over the fact that we both went to africa that summer. When I first met alyssa I thought she was quiet and a little akward... and as well all know now she doesn't shut up and she's lots of fun ;) Let me share a few memories with you. Living in the Joshua Building at Hume Lake for 9 months you tend to get cabin fever. One snowy day I gave alyssa a dead leg and she came after me and I was like oh crap she's gonna go ganster on me and kill me. So I did the next logical Christian thing to do. I took the bible and threw at her as hard as I could right in the leg. It stopped her long enough for me to run upstairs and hide in my bathroom. She waited outside of my bathroom door until I came out and then she practically killed me. She still has the knot on her leg where I threw the Bible.
Another day Alyssa and I had to walk down the "hell hill" and we were tired of walking so we dropped and rolled down the hill. I always ended up off the side of the road.
Last memory I'll share with you, right before I came to Pondi the first year I was going to stop by alyssa's house and stay a few nites before we all drove to camp. I sent out an email to everyone in Joshua saying that I was goign to be at alyssa's... then I wrote.. Party at Alyssa's BYOB. I wrote it as a joke but people started calling alyssa asking her about the party. Her mom threatened my life before I even met her.
Alyssa we've shared lots of fun memories, lots of tears, and I am so very blessed to have you in my life. Now stop complaining about me never talking about you in my blog!!!

April 20

2005-04-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

I got a text message from Kyle Smith today that said Happy 4:20. What does that even mean?! :) So I told him if him and I ever got married I would want it to be on april 20th.
And another little shout out to kyle smith is that now the muffin joke is being told so much! People call me and say how they tell that joke to everyone. I hate that you are more popular than I am!
So I found out that I have a caffine addiction. I have had a constant head ache the past 3 days and I couldn't make it go away (hence it being constant). So I was drinking a lot of water thinking because it's getting hot out side and i've been going running i'm just dehydrated. No no, I drank a diet dr. pepper and with in 20 minutes the head ache was gone! My name is Heather and I'm addicted to caffiene! That's a sucky rehab story.
So the other day I was in a hurry to leave and I was running down the stairs of my apt. and I totally missed the first step and slid all the way down. I hit the plant on the bottom of the stair case. And we all thought I was so graceful...hmmm. :)

Oh So Cal

2005-04-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm babysitting right now and a neighbor girl came over to play with the little boy I babysit for. I'm listening to them play while watching the 6 month old and I hear the little girl say "Alex is my boyfriend... I want to kiss him" And Alex responds "That's so stupid! Gross don't kiss me" So alex comes up to me and tells on this little girl that she just wants to kiss him. I was like well kiddo... that happens. So they are chasing each other around, well... she's chasing alex, and alex is running away. Ahhh young love.
I went to So Cal this wekekend and it was so great to get out of town. I went thrift store shopping. Okay... so there was this one thrift store we went into and I actually bought a couple of shirts, but I HAVE to tell you what this store was called. I'm not making this up either. The thrift store was called "Retarded Children". That was it. Retarded Children. I was like oh mi gosh! This is NOT P.C. at all. But anyways we shopped, went to the beach, went to a concert, hung out with my roommates family. It was so great! I watched the movie Donny Darco and it was such a trip, but really good.
I apologize if I called any of you and didn't say anything. Sometimes either I forget to lock my keys, or they won't lock. So aaron I feel that I called you and might have left a 20 minute message... sorry... but at least you know I'm a live... I know you were worried :)
I need to go check on the kids, make sure they are being appropriate :)

Newest addition

2005-04-01T13:34:00.000-08:00

So some of you already know, but to those who either don't live in Nor Cal or aren't on the Joshua email list... let me fill you in on what's new in my life. My parents called me last wednesday and asked me if I could come over friday at 6:00pm. They said they might be taking in a foster girl and they are meeting her on friday. She's 17 years old ( i know holy cow a teenager) and she's a jr. in highschool. She's not a Christian but is pursuing God right now.
Anyways she moved in on thursday of this week and she's just as sweet as can be. She's totally into politics, she doesn't really get sarcasm.... so that means I'm not that funny to her yet.
But this means that I get to be a big sister. I'm really excited about that... show her the ways of the world ;) She's had a very hard up bringing (hence being in foster care) so I have to watch my step more carefully, but I'm excited. This little boy that I babysit for met her yesterday and he asked if she was my sister and I just said yes and he said "You're really short next to your sister". That's been his big deal lately is pointing out how short I am.. and he's only 4!!!
SO that's that. Any sibling advice you want to pass on would be fun.
So it's april fools day and I decided one thing about this day. It sucks being gullable on any other day... but especially on april 1st. I fall for everything. So don't call me and say your pregnate, that's already been told to me. Or that theres a black window on my shoulder. NOT FUNNY KIDS!! :)
I just realized while talking to Stacey on the phone that now because of our newest addition I have a sister named Jessica and Ashley... what the Simpson family?! I decided to be one of the dogs in the expensive bags :)

So fun!!

2005-03-25T11:09:00.000-08:00

So Kyle Smith just left to go back to so cal... and we had a lot of fun hanging out!! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I had him come with me to babysit where he was drilled with question by the guy I babysit for. He was even asked if he was a registered sex offender. Kyle said no... so the guy asked him "So you're not registered?" Kyle looked at me and said "How do I answer that question?" Mmmm never a dull moment here in davis. We hung out with Stacey and Jeff till the wee hours of the morning, and then kyle and I woke up early to babysit again. I know we are one happy family here. We played Truth Or Dare Jenga half heartly, which was fun. Especially when Kyle was dared to blow a rasberry on Jeff's stomach. I almost peed my pants even though he didn't do it. He met my whole family, mom, dad and grandma. Don't forget Grandma Kyle!!! And yes Kyle changed my voice mail and it's so funny! Now I feel like you should call just to hear the famous muffin joke!
Besides hanging out with kyle things have been okay. I had a kind of rough few weeks, from dr.'s apts, to roommates saying things, to losing (in the emotional since) a friend, and to other rumors I have been hearing said about me. Some of it just plain sucks, but what's been good about it is that God reminds me that I don't have to carry this on my own, and that He will carry these burdens for me. :)
kyle you left bobby in the back of my truck!! :) YIKES

oh sick!

2005-03-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

So it's been a long week this week, slightly stressful and I am so excited for it to be friday night knowing I can sleep in saturday morning. I wake up at 5:00am to the sound of my neighbors getting to know each other in the biblical sense. I was like are you kidding?! It was disgusting and I felt violated hearing it. My roommates think its funny that I hear that every once in a while but I never really laugh... so my morning starts off gross...
So it's saturday night and I got hom a few hours a go from babysitting. It was fine, the parents ordered pizza, the girl watched Sponge Bob... which actually I don't really like that show at all to be honest. Anyways, the girl fell asleep on the couch and didn't want to go to bed so I left her there and read for a bit. These people have 2 dogs, one puppy that bites your toes (not so cute to me) and one really old dog that's blind and deaf. So I'm reading and the blind dog is walking around bumping into things. After a few minutes I hear this noise and I look over at the dog. He pooped, but not just solid poop... this was the runny nasty deal. I was like dangit I've gotta pick this up. So I get a bunch of paper towels and go over to the mess. I hold my breath so to avoid the smell, but somehow I got a wiff and I vomitted on top of the poop. I wanted to cry. Now I had poop and vomitt! I was tempted to wake up the little girl and make her clean it up but I didn't. It was just gross.
Just give me a clean day people!!! :)

a job for me

2005-02-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

So before I tell you this job, I need to really thank Ponderosa and all who were involved the past few summers I worked there. I firmly believe had I not worked at Pondi I wouldn't have found this job and I don't know of another job more perfect for me. So let me tell you what the job is and really I can all hear you fully agreeing with my decision.
I was on the phone with my friend and he was telling me about this church he's involved in. He told me all about the pastor, the huge choir, and the flag people (people that twirl a flag I assume). Anyways and then he said that at his church ... ready for this... there are interpetive dancers!!! IMAGINE THAT! People hired to dance interpeting a song at church!! HELLO?! How perfect is that for me? Can you just imagine me on stage dancing dramatically to a song infront of hundreds of people? I know! It's my spiritual gift and I finally found a place that needs it. Paul forgot to mention that interpetive dancing is a gift but... let's all be honest with each other we know if it wasn't God wouldn't have blessed me with it! :) So I believe that's my calling... interpetive dancing... most of you saw my moves at camp, you can't deny that I've got some talent there!
Anyways.. just thought I'd throw that at you guys... what do you think?

God stuff

2005-02-20T22:57:00.000-08:00

So for the past couple of weeks things have been going really well with God and I, He has been teaching me so much and I'm loving it. There's been a ton of spiritual warfare, but that's to be expected for any growing believer. So for lent I gave up being so dependent on friends and more dependent on God, it's been going amazingly well... but I went to the extreme. I would feel guilty about talking to my friends about anything. So I stopped talking to them, one of my best friends called me and knew something was going on but I couldn't explain it to him. I began to feel so overwhelmed with thoughts... like where is the balance between God and friends? Finally... tuesday night I had a breakdown. I called my friend around midnight and just started crying. I was trying to explain myself but I was crying to hard and he was like ya... I have no idea what your saying. Finally after a few minutes he understood and was able to explain it too me (he said bc he doesn't have emotions things come much clearer... is that true guys?) Anyways my whole deal was that I was afraid that by telling my friends my struggle that I was being unfaithful to God, and that I was going to fall back into my dependency phase again and that scared me. I also told him how I re-read my old journal from this summer till now and realized what a burden I was to people. Mmm good one satan, filling my head with lies.
ANYWAYS the point is that God has put amazing people in my life... AMAZING. And these people that I trust love me for who I am. Today at church my youth pastor said that again that even Paul called to Timothy (after talking to God) for some help and comfort.
THIS is just a little shout out to all of you that read my blog... you have all had some influence on me and I really appreciate it. You in some way have shaped the person that I am today, and I am so blessed to have you in my life. I really am. Even if we don't really talk that much and just read each others blogs know that I am thankful for you and I love you all and thank God that you are in my life.
Wow... I'm really nice ;)

Oh the weekend

2005-02-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went up with Stacey to Silver Spur, we were the "groupies" for the winter band which was Jeff, Chuckles, John, and Jarrod. We had a lot of solitude time, which was sometimes frustrating because Stacey and I both went up there hoping to hang out with some kids, but they already had their councelors and everything. BUT God still worked in each of us a lot this weekend. Here's some highlights for you kids :)
* I was laughing and this lady told me she loved my laugh... Stacey told me she was deaf... DANG it!
* We got woken up early by the band... Jarrod singing Chang Chang Chang, John playing the guiatrre, and Chuckles quoting scripture at us
*Stacey and I checked out Antique shops together for a couple hours and that was fun.
*We put bed pans on Chuckles and Jarrods bed filled w ith water and turned their heater up to 90 in each room. (Jarrod drank out of his bed pan... ugh)
* The speaker (Eric Simpson) did a great job, and the worship was really quality.
*God taught me a lot this weekend
*I almost hit a deer driving stacey's car at 6:30 in the morning... stupid deer
BUT THE GREATEST HIGHLIGHT EVER WAS
*I was trying to have my quiet time and Chuckles runs in half naked, jumps on the bed and starts dancing crazily. It made me laugh so hard.
It was a good weekend, I had fun with Stacey and the boys, and I had some really good theology discussions. It was so good to be in a camp setting again.

Love month... whatever

2005-02-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

I do love people but it's been a really hard few weeks b/c everywhere I turn there's another couple. This isn't to say that I am not happy for the couples in my life I'm just saying it gets hard at times. This week was really hard b/c I felt really distant from people and I kept thinking "I just need a friend right now". BUT this is God's way of teaching me to find my comfort in Him and not other people.
So let me tell you all about last night. I am reading through 1st samuel right now and if you haven't read it... holy nights its crazy!!! Saul scares the snot out of me. Anyways my roommate and I were having a theological discussion till almost 1:00am and then we decide to call it a night. I get ready for bed and turn off my light, but I keep the shades open so that some light comes in the room.As I'm walking to my bed I look out the window and see something in the window across from me. I dive into my bed, hitting my knee on the wall, and peer over the window seal. For sure there's something in their window. And I have seen the people who live there looking into my room, just staring. So I crawl army style out of my room, b/c I didn't want anyone to see me. I go into my roommates room freaking out and make them come look. They saw it too and they were like Heather... no more scary movies for you. Eventually they left and I crawled into bed, and I kept looking to see if it was still there.
I woke up at 6:45 this morning and looked at the window... and friends don't worry it was just a vase with a huge fake flower in it. But it did look like a person honest!! I have a huge bruise on my knee from the wall, but I could definitly make it in the marines, I'm sneaky :)
Kyle I'll call you if there's anymore updates on monday or wednesday ;) you know what that means you stud!! :)

What to do?

2005-02-02T16:05:00.000-08:00

So apparantly I have to figure out where I am going to live next year by next friday. I have no idea what I'm doing this summer let alone where I plan on living next year. I was considering moving to Sacramento for next year with one of my roommates, but now it looks like a no go. Which means I'll probably stay here in Sunny Davis (or Berkley if you want to call it that Kyle). Which is fine, the only part I struggle with is living with so many girls again and not really having too much privacy. I do love my roommates, but let's be realistic... 6 girls living together in a small apartment... HELLO MOOD SWINGS! :) I love it! Anyways any suggestions for what I should do next year? Or this summer? (Besides singing back up for Mr. J and trademark... I'll probably be pretty busy).
So I told a secret to Kyle that I will confess to you all now. Sometimes when I get stressed with school or roommates or life, I put in the Mr. J C.D. and do the motions and sing along... by myself. I need a friend.

No Talents

2005-01-30T20:37:00.000-08:00

So you know I recently wrote that I'm not funny... apparently most of you agreed and I am praying that Satan will let go of that strong hold he has on you. ;) jk. ApparentlyI can't handle the truth. So now not only am I not really funny (well only to Paula and Kyle and I love you both for that) but now I cant' sing. I was singing on the phone to one of my friends and she was like "Heather you know what's cute? You really can't sing" and I was like oh.. that's sad. And then I think of stacey coming into the bathroom while I was taking a shower and howling like a dog every time I started singing. And then I told my best friend how people have been telling me I can't sing and he was like "well heather i'm not going to lie it's true". But here's the deal, I'm pretty sure TradeMark wants me as back up this summer. And I saw phantom of the opera and I feel that whenever I sing along I sound just like them... and when people throw popcorn at me I feel that they are yelling "Encore"... not shut up like others insist.
This week was really great, the sun came out, I was able to wear my flip flops and sunglasses. Mmm. and what I was really excited about was this. When I call people (usually girls.. Kyle smith you being the acception) I ask them what they are wearing. I started doing it to my mom and calling her at work. Today she called me and said "What are you wearing".I got a good laugh out of that. anyways... that's all for now.
Kyle Smith, you like it when I sing to you huh? With our with out your pope!!! :)

Amazing weekend

2005-01-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

So I just feel that I had the most amazing weekend ever. I didn't go anywhere, I studied for the most part, and I was actually dealing with major drama with my best friend. Why was it so great you might ask? 1. I re-read Redeeming Love (the best book ever written besides the Bible).
2. God and I had these amazing quiet times. 3. He taught me so much! My friend and I got in this huge argument, it was awful, I cried, I got mad, I murdered him in my heart. BUT God totally used it for His glory. I found this quote that just kind of rocked my world. It says'
"I am dying of thirst by the side of the fountain." at first I was like oh that's deep, that was nice. And then I realized holy crap that's me. I get overwhelmed and stressed and just give up b/c I can't do things on my own and God is like Heather I'm right here! I try so hard to find my self worth in other people and that makes me incredibally unstable b/c people will fail, people are fickle, people don't always have the answers. So now I am trying to find my worth in God. I asked my pastor on sunday how does a Christian find their worth in God daily? The answer being obviouse that we surround ourselves with people that will encourage us in our walks, and by being in the word daily. I haven't been this excited about God in a long time. AND PONDI PINES FRIENDS I was finally able to remove my chain that I got on the first day of camp. I finally grasped that God can deal with my sin, and by holding onto them I am just hurting myself.
anyways, I'm just excited right now. But if any of you have any vs. that you can share with me that talk about our worth with God and can share them with me I would LOVE IT!

Not funny

2005-01-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was driving and I came to this realization... I'm not funny anymore. Have you ever gone through spurts and you're like dang it... I'm just not clever? That was me. So I called up my friend to leave a voice mail and try to throw in something funny, and I was like ya so... uh...right... I got nothing. It's awful.
Yesterday was my first day for my creative writing class and my teacher was incredibally dry and dull. So I looked at her, put Will Ferell's head on her's and imagined him saying "I like scotch, scotch scotch, scotch." And suddenly class became that much more interesting.
All my classes I'm excited about but are going to be as hard as all get out!! I'm only taking 3, I have Spanish, Sign Language, and Creative writing. In my sign language class we can't talk at all! For 2 hours I can't say 1 word. Ugh... that's just illegal. I start convolsing after 20 minutes of silence.
Kyle smith I need you to tell me a joke that I can laugh about. And Dad I don't even want to hear that you are the funniest guy at Pondi Pines... I might have lost my humor but I'm still funnier... .right? :)

Nothing to write

2005-01-14T13:15:00.000-08:00

I really don't have much to say at this point but Stacey and Kyle are just yelling at me to write something new. So I guess I'll just tell you how much of a idiot I really am. (Incase you didn't figure it out) So I was at Stacey's house watching Moth Man Prophecies and I was so scared watching it. SO SCARED. I kept hitting stacey when something would happen. Well at one point I got so scared in the movie that I hit her leg apparently lost control over my arm and punched myself right in the nose. I was like stacey I think I just broke my nose! I think it's bleeding. and she just kept saying SHUT UP HEATHER. It's still a little soar :( But yes I'm an idiot. I get scared and punch my nose.
Hmmm, Jeff and I went apartment shopping and we met a lot of fun crazy, creepy people. We met a guy named George who was like mid 40's, looked like a George Castanza from Seinfeld, had a piece of tape on the soap that said "Hand soap". He creeped Jeff and I out. Then my favorite was Pedro. We met pedro at his apt, and Jeff and I both made comments about how nicely it was kept. Pedro was a really nice guy and dressed really well. Then he asked if Jeff and I were together and we said no. And he asked Jeff if he had a boyfriend or a g/f. That threw me off a little but not really. Then out of no where Pedro say's "I'm gay". I was like WOW!!! DID NOT SEE THAT COMING FRIEND! WOW. I was like I understand your people b/c I own 3 seasons of Will and Grace and I always wanted a gay best friend.
So really that's what's been going on, nothing too exciting cest la vie. ( I speak french now... ooo la la).

Theological question

2004-12-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

So I'm reading a Max Lucado book called "In the grip of grace" and there was this one part that Max (him and I are like best friends so we are on the first name basis) mentioned Jefferey Dauhmer... the man that killed like 17 people and ate them. This man did awful and brutal things to these people and during the trial showed absolutly no remorse. Then while he was on death row he became a "born again christian", a few months later an inmate killed him. So I'm reading this and I got really bothered by it. So here's where I just want anyones input. I to a degree can understand God's grace, and that God will completly forgive our sins when we repent, but what about God's justice? I fully believed growing up that there are consequences for our actions. I just don't know if I can see God's justice in this story. Or should I not even try too look for it b/c he was no worse a sinner than I am? I don't know if I am even making sense it is just something that I have been thinking about for a while now and just wanted peoples input. Thanks friends :)

Santa Came

2004-12-26T16:18:00.000-08:00

So it's Christmas eve night and I am doing my journaling. Then I look at my watch and was like oh no it's 11:30 I need to make sure that I have the lights off by midnight. Somehow I had fully conviced myself that santa was coming and that I had to have the lights off. So I'm in bed with the lights off and I'm like "Oh mi gosh I heard Reindeer! SANTA'S HERE!" and then I was like OH MI GOSH HEATHER! You are 22 years old and still believing in santa. But he did come and he left me two stockings worth of stuff. Apparently I was a really good girl this year!

Clean up on Isle 8

2004-12-16T18:05:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was at Safeway doing a little grocery shopping with my roommate. As soon as we walked in I was like "Julie (my roommate) I have to urinate" and she said we would shop quickly and go home. So we go to the juice section and she always gets cranberry juice and I always make fun of her for it. So as she's getting the juice I was like "You should get two for your bladder infection" because there was a guy standing right there. She started laughing (we just finished finals so we're intoxicated with out the toxic stuff). THIS GUY just starts going off about how this kind of cranberry juice isn't as good as the other for bladder infections la la la. And he's getting all techincal on me and I'm just saying "Ya, no that's true." and going along when I have no idea what hes saying to me. Though he does admit to have some bladder problems himself. The things strangers tell me. He leaves,my roommate is on the floor laughing and me... I'm peeing my pants. It wasn't like a river flow but I had to take a shower when I got home. BUT THE WORST PART was when I was leaving this guy was like Have a good night Heather. I grew up with him since I was 2 and he's now the store manager. I was like uh Robert... there's a clean up on isle 8... ya... I peed my pants... sorry.

And I wonder why I don't have a boyfriend? I'd probably pee my pants on our first date. So... that's my pant peeing story. This is just me, being vulnerable, and in need of a friend :)

Pray For Jake

2004-12-14T15:51:00.000-08:00

Some of you already know this story but I felt I needed to share it again because now I have something to add on to it. Okay when we first found out that I had bad ovaries, we also found out that I had a tumor. So I call my dad and I was like hey... I have to go to the dr. to check this out la la la. And my dad was like ya okay, hey you can be praying for Jake he hasn't been eating all that much. Okay Jake is my DARN DOG!!! Poor little guy wasnt eating that much, but don't worry about me I just have tumors and cysts. Then today I found out that my grandma has to have heart surgery ASAP. So my dad was telling me that Grandma's biggest concern is "Who's going to take care of Donald?" Donald would be her gay (literally gay) bassett hound. What is wrong with my family?! How am I related to them? ;) jk.
So last night I spent the night at Stacey's and some stupid person called at 8:00am. Why? But all I hear stacey saying is "If you call this early I'm not going to buy anything" Apparently I yelled out "I'll buy it! I want it" And she told me to shut up. I asked her what they were selling and she said "MCI" And I was like YES DEFINITLY MINE! And then I went right back to sleep. I didn't remember doing that until Stacey told me this morning.
So moral of the first story is if something is really wrong.. pray for your pet. And the moral to the second story is I'm just as funny sober as I am intoxicated ;)

Urination Station

2004-12-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

So last year as a prank my old roommate and his friend filled up all these dixie cups and put them all over my truck. But inside of some of the cups they had little gold fish. There were about 50 of them, now, there's 4. Sad days huh? Anyways my roommate and I are apparently in charge of them this year so we had agreed to put them in our room. I was feeling a little sick after church (maybe it was God's convictions or something) and so I took a nap. I wake up an hour later and I was like Holy Mother of nights I have to urinate like there's no tomorrow. My roommates had brought up the fish tank so the filter is a constant water flow. I told my roommate that I'm going to need a bed pan because that things going to make me urinate all the time.
Oh I have to say sorry to anyone that I have accidentally called the past few weeks. I know Dad said I called him for like 40 seconds or whatever (Sorry Aaron) and I called a few others, sometimes my keys don't lock. So it's been fun when people call me and were like I heard that you are in love with Kyle Smith... oh dang it Kyle... I hope you knew. Anyways I had my first final tomorrow and I'm babysitting a 5 month old baby till 11:00. I'm excited. anyways I hope you all are doing well. I swear I'll have more of an interesting story but really I just wanted to say hi to all of you lovely people!

Emotional Girl

2004-12-08T13:23:00.000-08:00

I was BEYOND emotions last week. Everything was making me cry! EVERYTHING. But the worst of it was this.... On friday my friend Megan and I went Christmas shopping for our friend Kyle I knew exactly what i wanted to get him but we couldn't find it any where. Finally after a few hours of shopping (and I am not a shopper at all) we found it. We got him a stuffed animal donkey and we took it to Build a Bear. Then I did a little saying in it and we got it all finished. We did some minor shopping after that as I carried around this huge ass... not mine the donkey. And I thought it was so cute so I would say "Who's the cutest donkey ever? You are yes you are!" (that's what I get for being a full time nanny). Anyways we went and dropped it off in Kyles truck b/c he wasn't home. Okay guys get ready... I started crying. not just like oh tear... but like hyperventalating crying. I couldn't even stop. So I started to laugh so it looked like I was laughing so hard I was crying but no. ANd megan was like heather we need to go and I was like "I .... can't... drive...." sob sob. I cried until we got on the freeway. Pure raw emotions. We back to my apt and we watched Shrek and i started crying because I missed donkey.
So you know you have hit an ultimate low when you start crying about giving away your donkey:)

High maintance

2004-12-01T13:59:00.000-08:00

So those of you who know me know that you might call me... "emotionally high maintance". ( Alyssa I can actually hear you saying "uh yeah you are Heather"... so shut up) But today I for sure acted out on being high maintance. I called a bunch of people... okay like 3 and only stacey answered but after we talked for a little bit she got off the phone. Alyssa you didn't answer either. ANYWAYS, so I texted my friend Kyle (not our Kyle Smith) and asked him why he was ignoring me. And then with in a few minutes he called and asked what was wrong. I said nothing, and he was like why did I have to call? And I said I just needed some attention, I just need a friend Kyle. But then after a few minutes he had to go back to class. Sometimes I just want to talk. :) So I came home and did interpetive dancing to Celine Dion... by myself. It was fun when ever duets came up :)
I was also thinking of all this remanising that we were doing about the first time I met Kyle Smith. And I told him that my best friends name is Kyle and since his name is Kyle that him and I were going to be best friends. And he looked at me and said "YOUR A FREAK". Ya we had just met, he didn't even know my name. I almost cried. Oh man... those were the good ol days!! :) :)

Kyle Smith

2004-11-29T11:14:00.000-08:00

Kyle Smith if... when you read this you better laugh because I dedicate part of this blog to you. Yesterday I was at Celebration and there was a guy playing the bongos that looked like you and so I waved at him. Granted I was sitting in the very back, and he was on stage, and every time I waved at him he was praying. But still... so then I started thinking about this summer and the time that we saw a bear by the dumpster. You pulled up in your Jeep and yelled at me to get in the jeep because I have bad ovaries. It still makes me laugh. Or when I sang Butterfly kisses to you on the mega phone while you were pooping. Those were the good ol days :)
So thanksgiving came and left. It was fun. We had family up and some friends. My roommate came with me and her and I had amazing talks. She actually cried, I was like good job Heather. Make your roommate cry on thanksgiving, I'm an idiot. But it was fun.
So I'm still house sitting and it's getting kind of old. Have I mentioned that the dog that lives here is gay? No it's true. He always tries to mount my guy friends. But he also licked Stacey's feet which... come on friends lets be honest who would want to be near those things? Ugh I just vomitted.
Well I'm off to be productive... which means probably get on my phone and talk with someone :)

Christmas Carols

2004-11-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

It's true I am already embracing Christmas Carols. They put me in such a good mood. So I'm house sitting right now, until Dec. 1st and a block from where I'm house sitting was a homicide. They didn't find the guy yet,but I'm hoping he comes over. :)
It's been a really hard few weeks, I for sure feel so overwhelmed with everything. And I am already looking for where I am going to live next year. Is that a bad sign? I for sure can't live with 6 other girls again. That's TOO many girls! I plan on either getting married, or moving out to sacramento with maybe only 2 or 3 girls. Since I won't be getting married... EVER... I'm looking for aparments.
I've been watching Oprah a lot and I just love that woman, I have decided that I am going to be the next Oprah, only I'll be white. And I'm going to be the next Ellen Degeneres, only straight. AND I got an email from Francine Rivers a few weeks a go, I for sure almost peed my pants!:) Anyways it's almost thanksgiving and I'm freakin excited to have a home cooked meal.

HEYYYY

2004-11-17T23:08:00.000-08:00

So it's me. I'm here. I am now a blogger. Hey look at me. So Stacey hooked me up to this internet course... deal... technology is amazing these days. Look we can all be friends. I plan on writing only when I am intoxicated. The ovaries are sucking my life away. Stacey tried to beat out the anti christ, but he's still alive and kicking the little soccer player. He's due any day now. Right... well... okay. I'm pretty tired. Stacey are you tired? Ya I'm tired. Okay. I will be more entertaining on the dance floor. Peace.
P.S. I have no idea what i'm doing or saying, but stacey and I laughed. and I just urinated on her bed. :)